For those who have thought I've disappeared off the edge of the world, I kindof did. 
For the past 3 years (feels longer) I've been struggling with vibromialgia, which in itself, was an odyssey to even get a diagnosis. For those who don't know it, it's a form of post viral syndrome, with remants of a virus (something like glandular fever) staying in the system, causing health issues.  In my case it seems that the initial virus never became symptomatic and the remnants had a free for all on my body after my immune system being highly damaged. This translates to blackouts, muscle pains, severe chronic migraine, sensitivity to light, nauseau, insomnia, and more. All great fun, garanteed!
I'm pleased to say however that the worst is most defiantely over.

From various diets, the most drastic being an elimination diet, vitamin supplements and most recently migraine prevention, I'm FINELY showing sure sounds of recovery.  It's been extremely hard, with my state of mind taking a beating at times just as much as my body, to which I thank the people close to me so much, for keeping me alive pretty much, and being there for me. To the rest who never really thought I was sick, or not very sick at all, go fuck yourselves :P.  It's a great feeling to have my energy returning, less and less chronic migraines (kill me now types) and not be getting the flu 1 once a month for 3 weeks. Even just being able to concentrate and collect my thoughts a bit more again, is a godsend.

Not all birds swaying, trees singing though, as now i need to get a job, so i actually have money again haha, no easy feat after being out of the workforce for awhile. It will also be hard to return to uni, after being away for quite awhile, but the drive of just being able to do EVERYTHING again, keeps me excited about it all. Baby steps is key I think.

If you haven't had much contact from me in recent years and feeling hard done by, I'm sorry about that. Hope to be a much more sociable person again and change all that.

Aside from all this, for those who know me well will know how close I was with my grandmother (who i called nanna). She unfortunately has passed away, I will miss her greatly.  I will finish of this entry with my thoughts on her which I shared at her funeral.

Love you nanna

Nanna one time gave me dating advice. She told me that sometimes people can change and become not so close.  That it's no one's fault just time can change us.
    To reiterate her point she quoted Michael Corleone from "The Godfather" [It's nothing personal, it's strictly business.]
 
    This made me think 2 things -
1. Not sure how much the parallel between organised crime and relationships actually helped reassure me.
2. I had a very special grandmother I knew absolutely cared about me and would offer any support she could on anything I had to say.  Nanna made me feel that there wasn't really and barrier between us with communicating such as age and that made me feel very priveliged to talk to her on the same level. It was always a discussion between us. It was never Nanna telling me what to think but more, to just simply think.
 
    That's just one example of how her thoughts and stories being shared with me were often humorous, caring and important. Most of the time it was all three together.
 
    I will never forget Nanna's love, caring and support for me and will cherish the memories she gave me forever.